s a v a n n a h

"As we’ve seen in the past, social media can add some complications to the normal flow of legal proceedings. In recent months, we’ve seen court cases wind up declared mistrials because of the social media activity of jury members. 

Now, it’s the alleged victim in a legal case that’s taking heat for her Twitter activity. Seventeen-year-old Savannah Dietrich of Louisville, Kentucky is facing up to 180 days in jail and $500 fine for a series of tweets she made regarding an open case. 

The Courier Journal reports that Dietrich, who was reportedly the subject of a sexual assault where two young men violated her while she was under the influence and then circulated photos of the event, was upset about what she felt was the unfair plea bargain that the two men received. 

She took to Twitter, where she named the two boys that allegedly assaulted her, saying,

“There you go, lock me up. I’m not protecting anyone that made my life a living Hell.”

Another tweet read: “Protect rapist is more important than getting justice for the victim in Louisville.”

The two boys’ attorneys want the trial Judge to hold Dietrich in contempt, as she has violated a court order to keep confidentiality.

The defendants have both already plead guilty, but received what amounts to a “slap on the wrist,” according to Dietrich. “So many of my rights have been taken away by these boys. I’m at the point, that if I have to go to jail for my rights, I will do it. If they really feel it’s necessary to throw me in jail for talking about what happened to me as opposed to throwing these boys in jail for what they did to me, then I don’t understand justice.”

Two different Facebook pages have already been set up in support of Dietrich. “Savannah Dietrich is a victim of Sexual Assault, upon doing the right thing and naming the men who assaulted her, she is being wrongfully punished. Please spread the word,” reads the page Help Savannah Dietrich. 

There’s also a petition on popular online petition site Change.org. They are calling on the Kentucky District Court Judge on the case to dismiss the charges of Dietrich for tweeting the names of her attackers. 

It reads:

She tweeted the names of her attackers anyway, likely feeling that it is wrong for anyone to get away for what they did to her. Now, she may face jail time for “contempt” because she stated who attacked her. Her punishment may be up to 180 days in jail and a $500 fine. This girl has already been traumatized and abused by her attackers. Now they want to violate her rights and ability to control her body again by putting her in prison, and the twisted laws are on their side.

Whether or not your think that Dietrich was right in her actions or that she violated the law, the only thing that’s certain is that cases like this are only going to increase as more and more people have access to public forums like Facebook and Twitter. 

UPDATE: As of Monday afternoon, defense attorneys for the two boys have withdrawn the motion to hold Dietrich in contempt for tweeting their clients’ names. Since the names have already been tweeted, one defense attorney told the Courier Journal, ““What could contempt do now? Seems like a rather useless exercise doesn’t it?”"


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Why Katie Price should name her rapist.
http://www.thefword.org.uk/blog/2009/09/katie_price_why


"Glamour model and reality TV star Katie Price was raped prior to her marriage to Peter Andre, according to her column in OK! Magazine earlier this month. In response to the media furore surrounding her revelation, Price stated that the only reason she chose to speak publicly about her sexual assault was following reports that her current partner, cage fighter Alex Reid, starred in a film that glamorised rape. While criticising the media attention this has yielded, two-weeks after her initial column Price has gone further to state that while she is unwilling to name the man who assaulted her he is, in fact, a “famous celebrity.”

Of course, this has inflamed tabloid interest in her attack, with almost any male celebrity she has ever been photographed with now the subject of speculation. As it stands the names of a footballer, a TV personality and a small-time film star have been bandied around the Internet as if the nation is involved in some sort of celebrity whodunnit, which not only means that, inevitably, innocent men are going to be accused, but that the severity of rape itself is being diminished, becoming nothing more than tabloid fodder, with papers scrambling to break the story rather than deal sensitively with what is a heinous crime and one that has a shamefully low conviction rate.

Price’s decision to publicly discuss her rape was, on Wednesday, the subject of channel 5’s current affairs programme, The Wright Stuff, and as a result Price called the show to defend her decision to conceal her attacker's identity, stating that she would “never, never absolutely not” name him. While, understandably, it must be extremely difficult for rape victims to speak about their experiences, Price is a TV personality who has made the transition from glamour model to mainstream celebrity owing to her outspoken and confident public persona and her determination to speak her mind, all marketed as part of her independence and business acumen. Therefore her silence is, in itself, a strong statement.

The vast majority of women who are attacked neither speak about their experiences, nor report them to the authorities. The reasons for this are manifold, but include fear that they will not be believed, that their personal lives will be subject to the basest scrutiny and judgement, and that there will be aspersions cast upon their morality. It is a physical and emotional trauma that a lot of women suffer in silence, worried that they will be seen as the cause of their own abuse. While Price now feels able to speak about what happened to her, making the claim in a national publication, maintaining the anonymity of her attacker is not only inconsistent, but also downright irresponsible.It perpetuates the idea that rape is part of the male privilege, positioning guilty men above puishment, and suggests that female victims should consider their attacks something that they must just quietly accept. According to the Guardian:

The government estimates that as many as 95% of rapes are never reported to the police at all. Of the rapes that were reported from 2007 to 2008, only 6.5% resulted in a conviction, compared with 34% of criminal cases in general. The majority of convictions for rape resulted from an admission of guilt by the defendant, whereas less than one quarter of all those charged with rape were convicted following a successful trial.

Price should realise that as a public figure she can lead by example, and is now in a position to offer strength to women who are living in silence, wrongly convinced that this is their shame. She has no obligation, of course, she is an individual, but as she courts the media she must realise that by now refusing to name her attacker she is fuelling misogynistic attitudes that encourage the dismissal of rape allegations as nothing more than a form of attention seeking, meaning that in actual fact it will become harder for women to come forward, fearing a disblieving reception. While she claims that she did not anticipate the media reaction her comments have incited, Price is well-versed in the machinations of the British tabloid machine, making this an extremely poor explanation.

Cynical journalists believe that this is nothing more than a publicity stunt by Price, designed to win favour with the nation following her vilification during her divorce from Peter Andre, and the fact the name of her assailant is said to have been “accidentally” caught on camera during the filming of her ITV show, What Katie Did Next, will probably fuel this belief (especially as it was said to have happened during a magazine interview). However, this attitude is reflective of the general scepticism accorded many rape victims, and her claims must not simply be dismissed, but properly investigated.

conviction

warning: this post may be triggering.

information taken from http://www.xojane.com/it-happened-to-me/it-happened-me-i-put-my-rapist-prison

I Put My Rapist in Prison 

"In 1995, I was 16, and I was raped by a 25-year-old man.

It wasn’t a date rape. I wouldn’t even call him an acquaintance, he was just this guy who hung around with some people I knew.

I’d met him a few weeks before, and seen him around maybe once or twice after that. I won't go into the graphic details, but for several hours he raped me in my car in a remote location in the hills above my city.

Afterward, he drove my car to his apartment, forced me to take a shower, told me he would kill me if I told anyone, kissed me and asked for my phone number, and then let me go.

The rape was really violent. I’d been punched, slapped, and strangled, and there was blood running down my legs. I knew I needed to go to the hospital, and reporting it to the police was the only choice I considered.

As soon as he let me go, I drove to a hotel just down the street from his apartment complex and asked to use the phone to call 911.

I was like a zombie, shuffling around, totally numb. I don't think I was crying. A blanket appeared around me, I guess from the hotel front desk staff. I asked the 911 operator to tell the ambulance driver to not use lights or sirens because the only clear thought I had was that I didn't want the rapist to know I'd called 911, but about three firetrucks, five ambulances, and a million cop cars showed up with lights and sirens anyway.

I remember I could barely answer the cops' questions; it was like there was nothing left inside my brain. I kept saying over and over that I'd been drinking (I had, many hours before), to explain my confusion. I thought I was drunk, but I realized later that I was literally in shock.

I don't remember much about the hospital or talking to the police. I have a vague recollection of the rape exam, which was awful but necessary. I had to have surgery because I had internal injuries; I actually don't even know what exactly was wrong, but I think I had some sort of tear in my vaginal wall and my cervix had been badly damaged.

It was actually kind of a blessing in disguise that I was so badly injured, as it later made it hard for him to claim it was consensual.

I spent a couple days in the hospital. It's all pretty fuzzy (I was on a lot of painkillers), but I know I gave a description to the police and told them where he lived and I knew his first name. I looked at a set of mugshots and I picked out his photo immediately.

From what I remember, most of the police questioning was kind and compassionate, though they kept hounding me about why I didn't climb out the window of the bathroom when he put me in the shower.

After I got out of the hospital, I couldn't go back to school because the police hadn't arrested him yet and I was terrified that he'd find out I'd reported it. He knew what high school I went to. He even called my house at least once and bizarrely asked for Tiffany (not my name, or even close to my name). I'm not sure what he was trying to do.

He was finally arrested six days after it happened. About a month after the rape, I testified before the grand jury, and they decided that there was enough evidence to go ahead with a trial. There were a few other times I was in the courtroom too, but I was just there to watch and didn't have to testify.

I wish I remembered more details, but that whole time is such a blur. The trial was scheduled for about six months after it had happened. There was so much evidence against him that he ended up pleading guilty at the last minute in the hope of gaining leniency, so there wasn't actually a trial, just a sentencing hearing with a judge (no jury).

His main defense strategy was that he claimed I was a prostitute. I thought there was some rule that they can't use the victim's sexuality as a defense? I don't know, but they did.

I was actually a virgin at the time. I'd barely even made out with anyone. The defense had two random men I had never seen in my life testify that they'd paid me for sex and that my name on the street was Alexis (also nowhere near my real name or any name I've ever used).

I wasn't planning to testify, because the evidence was really strong and the prosecutor wanted to spare me the additional trauma, but he ended up putting me on the stand so I could say that I wasn't a prostitute.

Once I was up there, I had to tell the whole story and answer some questions. It was rough, but it wasn’t super terrible. After the testimony by me and those two random dudes and some cops and doctors (including my therapist, who testified about things I'd said in our sessions. That surprised me, to say the least...), the rapist was given a chance to say whatever he wanted.

He rambled on and on about how I said I was into S&M and rough sex and it was consensual and he threw in the prostitute thing a bunch more times and talked about the slutty way I supposedly dressed (BTW the night it happened I was in baggy jeans, a loose T-shirt, and an oversized cardigan. Real slutty, right? This was the mid-90s and that was how I always dressed), he never took any responsibility or admitted to any sort of wrong-doing.

He tried to portray me as some sort of "black widow," who manipulated and used men. It was all so offensive but it actually worked in my favor because he looked like such a jackass and it was so obvious that he was lying.

Then the judge announced his sentence, which was 10-30 YEARS in prison! That long of a sentence is practically unheard of for a rapist as far as I know.



He became eligible for parole in 2005, and I planned to read a statement at his parole hearing, but at the last minute I freaked out and decided not to go. Like, I had a plane ticket, went to the airport and then turned around and went home instead.

I felt certain that there was no way they would let him out, so I didn't think it mattered if I went. I'd heard things from time to time from the victim services coordinator, about the rapist attacking his own lawyer with a chair, fighting other inmates, getting into all sorts of trouble.

She called me after the parole hearing, and much to my surprise they were probably going to grant him parole! He was asking to be paroled to a state on the other side of the country, where I guess he has family. The parole board gave him 30 days to get permission from that state to be paroled there, to get a housing situation set up and a plane ticket, and they scheduled another hearing for a month later to see if he'd done what he was supposed to do. I knew I had to go to this second hearing.

This was actually way harder than the original sentencing hearing. Maybe it's because the first time around I was in shock, and so much was going on. I was sort of numb to it all. 10 years later it felt a lot more real.

I'd made a lot of progress in those that time, dealt with it as much as I could, and I'd finally gotten to the point that it wasn't the main thing on my mind ALL the time anymore. Going back to relive it all again was harder than I’d even imagined.

I'd long since moved away from the city where it happened, so I had to fly back there. I chose to go to the parole hearing alone, which I realized as soon as I arrived was probably a mistake, because I was terrified. The hearing was held in the prison, which was way out in the desert and super creepy and desolate. There were armed guards in the towers and huge barking dogs between two layers of fences.

I’d written a statement on my laptop but I didn't have a printer at the time so I brought my computer with me. Turns out they wouldn't let me bring it into the hearing room, so I had to sit in the lobby and quickly copy down as much as possible into a notebook. I was really scared, shaking and having a bad anxiety attack. I could barely read my writing.

Before the hearing, I went into a little room with the victim services coordinator and she went over my statement and advised me to take out a few things. She said if I felt like crying I should let it happen, because it might make me look more sympathetic to the parole board.

I was sure I wouldn't cry. At the original hearing I'd been so calm and collected. But as soon as I stood up to read my statement, I started crying uncontrollably. It was really overwhelming seeing the rapist again. He was sitting maybe 10 feet away. He'd been instructed not to look at me, but I could see him looking out of the corner of his eye.

I'd always thought that I would recognize him if he escaped from prison and I saw him walking down the street, but when I saw him I realized I probably wouldn't have. He looked different than I remembered, but it had been 10 years and he was 35 instead of 25 now.

He got his chance to say whatever he wanted first, and it was pretty much the same as the first time around: I was a big whore, etc. Then the parole board asked him a few questions. The hearing was set up so the victim gets the last word, so after he was done answering their questions I stood up and read what I had written and also got to respond to what he'd said.

Then everyone left the room and we waited a little while for the board to make a decision. When they were ready we all went back into the room, and they announced that because of my statement they'd decided not to grant him parole.

He was potentially eligible for parole every year after the 10 years, but the parole board decided to push back his next eligibility date to five years later.

His second parole hearing was in 2010. I chose to send in a written victim impact statement instead of attending, mainly because I found out that my written statement would be confidential, only read by the parole board. I didn’t want him to know how deeply affected I still was by what he did to me. It’s clear to me that he feels no remorse.

I found out recently that at this hearing he finally, sort of, admitted that he raped me. His story now is that he was a pimp and planned to turn me out. I have no idea if that’s true. He was denied parole again but they set his next hearing for only a year later.

His third parole hearing was a few months ago, and this time he was granted parole. I also chose not to attend this hearing, because I was almost certain he would be getting out soon and I didn’t want him to see me and know what I look like now, in case he comes looking for me.

He has to complete a six-month sex offender treatment program and then he’ll be released. He’s been on a waiting list to get into the program, but a few days ago I received an automated call from the victim notification system, letting me know that he’s just been transferred to the prison with the treatment program.

I know that I got lucky in a lot of ways. I was the right kind of victim (white, middle class, virginal) and he was the right kind of rapist (black, poor, with a long criminal history). There was a lot of evidence and it was so brutal that I don’t think anyone ever believed it was consensual.

I feel grateful that I’ve had the last 17 years to live my life feeling relatively safe with him locked up, but it still doesn’t feel like enough time or punishment to me. Once he’s released I doubt I’ll ever stop looking over my shoulder, waiting for him to come after me again.

I recently ordered copies of the police reports from my case. Reading through them was one of the most gut-wrenching things I’ve ever done, but it helped fill in the blanks in my memory and clarify some things. It may seem strange, but I actually want to remember every detail of what happened to me.

Being raped has affected me more than anything else in my life, and it feels important to hold these memories close."

some responses to the post:

"You inspire me. You get to choose how this defines you, be it as a victim or a survivor and cherish the parts of you that this experience cannot touch. He, however, will always be a rapist."

"I'm sorry you had to go through this, but thank you for having the courage to put that guy away and for your speaking so candidly about how it affected you. Hopefully more women who have to go through this terrible thing have the courage to put their rapists in jail because of your example."

"You are amazing and wonderful, and I look forward to the day when a woman's job doesn't affect whether or not she gets justice."

" Thank you for having that strength to put your attacker away. And thank you for sharing your story. Back in the day I used to look on the Internet for stories like mine and I found nothing much and it made me feel so ashamed and alone. I think the silence that surrounds these types of crimes makes it so much harder for people to come forward and to heal. So although I wish it never happened to you or to anyone, I'm glad you could be kind enough to share it. "

"You are stunningly brave for sharing this and living, clawing, fighting through this. I am certain that what you did spared more than one woman from the the hell you went through. I wish you peace. You deserve it."

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Reporting rape to the police

 The following information is taken from http://www.idas.org.uk/rapesupport/index.html , a really useful site.

Everyone will need different forms of support to help them through the experience of sexual assault or rape. Some people will find it easy to talk to friends and family and other people will need the help of impartial professionals. You may also need different support at different times of your life. Many people believe they have recovered from a rape that may have happened years ago only to find that watching a TV programme triggers old memories and feelings. Whether you need help because of something that's happened recently or something in the past there are a range of options open to you.

Immediately following rape: If you've just been raped consider getting yourself somewhere where you feel safe. For example do you have a trusted friend or relative you could be with or confide in?

Once you are somewhere safe, it's up to you if you choose to report to the police what's happened.

Reporting rape: If you do decide to report, you can call 999 or the non-emergency number on 101. If you report a rape that's happened recently, a forensic medical examination will be carried out and you will be asked for a statement about what's happened. Your physical examination should be done by a specialist doctor and your statement will be taken by a specifically trained police officer.

The police should also give you more information about support that you can access including info about Independent Sexual Violence Advisors. . If you report a 'historical' rape, you will still be asked for a full statement and given information about local support services.

If you don't want to report the rape then consider whether you need medical attention - not only for immediate physical injuries but also to check for sexually transmitted infections, pregnancy etc.

Support and advice: If you are unsure what to do next or don't know what support is available to you, you can phone the Rape Support Line (0300 111 0777) and talk things through with a worker. The national Rape Crisis line is also available most days on 0808 802 9999

Independent Sexual Violence Advisors (ISVA): If you have reported to the police you should be able to access support through an ISVA. An ISVA will provide you with information about the court process including keeping you informed about charging decisions, court dates and so on. They will also be able to accompany you if you need to give evidence in court.

Counselling and long term therapy: There are many different organisations and services that offer counselling and therapy. Some specialise in offering support about rape and sexual abuse and others offer counselling on a range of matters. Some organisations offer only one to one support whilst others also offer support groups. You can also ask your GP for a referral to a counsellor or psychologist.

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The following information is taken from http://www.northumbria.police.uk/advice_and_information/
advice_and_support/Reporting_Rape/whathappensnext/

whilst some details may vary, most reporting procedures in the UK are the same/ similar.

When police receive a report of rape the first priority is the safety of the victim. The first person to attend will be a uniformed officer who will assess the situation while a Sexual Offence Liaison Officer (SOLO) travels to the scene. They are specially trained police officers who deal with victims of rape. SOLOs understand the impact rape has on victims and are trained to guide them through the investigative process.

You may already know the identity of the offender but if not, every effort will be made to identify the person or persons responsible.

If your report is made initially over the telephone, depending on how recently it occurred, you may be asked to retain and not wash the clothing you wore at the time of the assault. You can place these into a clean plastic bag if you wish to change them. The reason for this is to preserve potentially vital forensic evidence.

You may be asked (depending on how recently the incident occurred) to provide some ‘early evidence’ samples that may include a urine sample and a mouth swab. You may also be asked to agree to a forensic medical examination. The purpose of this is to assist in corroborating the report and to provide forensic evidence.

The SOLO will accompany the victim to the forensic medical examination. Adult victims will be seen by a trained forensic medical practitioner at one of the REACH centres which are not attached to police stations. The REACH centre offers counselling services, and an appointment can be made for you by the SOLO to attend an initial session. You will also be given an information pack detailing other services available.

Next the SOLO will explain how a statement can be taken – either a written statement or video interview depending on which is best for the victim and the investigation.

And they will liaise with detectives on the Rape Investigation Team or in the Child Protection Unit who will have responsibility for conducting a thorough investigation and seeking to bring the offender to justice.

The SOLO will also arrange for timely information on the progress of the investigation to be provided the victim and refer them to appropriate support agencies.

The force also has three Sexual Violence Advisers who can help victims with everything from housing, benefits, childcare and medical issues.

for more information on police procedures try: http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk/Policeprocedure2.php

partner rape

 

 

warning: some of the following information may be triggering.

 

It is still a widely held myth that women cannot be raped by their husbands or partners.

Many people believe that sexual intercourse without consent, in this context, doesn’t really constitute rape at all, or if they do, that it is somehow not as serious as an assault carried out by a stranger.

The belief that by marrying or co-habiting with her attacker a woman has somehow given up her right to say no and should be expected to comply with his sexual demands is commonplace and causes great harm to women who suffer assault in this context.

The damage done when a woman is raped by her partner can be extremely serious. The experience of rape for a woman in this situation is compounded by a complete breach of trust by someone once loved – often the foundation of her personal life and security. Inevitably, this can leave her fearful of what confronting that might mean.

Sexual assault by a partner can be very difficult not only for women to disclose or walk away from, but even, sometimes, because of circumstantial pressures, to fully admit to themselves.

A significant minority (13%) of the broad cross-section of the Scottish population (700 interviewees) who took part in research carried out by Progressive on behalf of Rape Crisis Scotland in August 2007 believed that most women who are raped are raped by strangers.

Other research findings give the lie to this in the clearest possible way:

• In 2002 the UK Home Office published the findings of a British Crime Survey to which 6,944 women had responded. Nearly half (45%) of rapes reported to the survey were committed by perpetrators who were victims’ partners at the time of the attack. Strangers were responsible for only 8% of rapes reported to the survey
• The survey also found that partner rape entails the highest occurrence of multiple rape (62%) and attacks by partners and ex-partners are more than twice as likely to result in some injury to the victim (39%) as attacks by strangers (19%)
• In her landmark study Rape and Marriage (Bloomington, IN: Indiana University Press, 1990), Diana Russell reported on interviews with a random sample of 930 women in the San Francisco area. Of all the women who had been married, 14% had been raped by their spouses at least once. Of these, 1/3 reported being raped once; 1/3 reported between 2 and 20 incidents; and 1/3 said they had been raped by their spouses more than 20 times.
• Another study estimated that 10 to 14% of all married women have been or will be raped by their spouses (Finkelhor, D., and Yllo, K., License to rape: sexual abuse of wives. The Free Press, New York, 1985)
 

”It was very clear to me. He raped me. He ripped off my pyjamas, he beat me up. I mean, some scumbag down the street would do that to me. So to me, it wasn't any different because I was married to him, it was rape — real clear what it was.

It emotionally hurt worse. I mean you can compartmentalise it as stranger rape — you were at the wrong place at the wrong time. You can manage to get over it differently. But here, you're at home with your husband and you don't expect that. I was under constant terror even if he didn't do it.”

 

 

http://www.thisisnotaninvitationtorapeme.co.uk/relationships/#myth_tab

 

 'Force-only' rape is usually understood to include only enough force used on the part of the abuser to control or hold his wife in position, eg holding down the victim by her arms or wrists to prevent her defending herself or escaping. This form of rape is common where there is a larger contrast between the physical size and strength of abuser and victim, or in abusive relationships where physical violence is infrequent or non-existent (insofar as one does not categorise sexual assault itself as a violent act). In most cases of 'force-only' rape, coercion plays a large part. The victim may also be so confused and numbed by constant emotional abuse, that she simply does not know how to act or react when sex is forced on her.'

 

 

some useful links about partner rape:

 

http://www.pandys.org/partnerrapesurvivors.html

 

http://www.aphroditewounded.org/definitions.html

 

http://www.pandys.org/articles/intimatepartnerrape.html

 

 

Partner rape is real rape.
It may happen once or many times.
It may involve coercive pressure or battery and torture.
It happens in very violent relationships, or in those that are otherwise respectful. Women are raped by men they love.

 

http://www.aphroditewounded.org/loustory.html

http://survive.org.uk/maritalrape.html

 

 http://www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/marital_rape.html

 http://www.voicesandfaces.org/survivor_victoria.asp

the bystander effect

image source unknown

information taken from: http://voices.yahoo.com/the-bystander-effect-lesson-paying-attention-7611154.html

On March 13, 1964, Kitty Genovese, a young woman from Queens was attacked and killed on the street. The New York Times published a shocking front page story alleging 38 of Kitty Genovese's neighbors either saw or heard the attack and failed to call for help. Over the years, further investigations uncovered flaws in the original story, but it is still appalling. How could 38 people ignore a woman's desperate screams for help?

Researchers and psychologists have reached shocking conclusions about human behavior in conjunction with this case. The "Bystander Effect" theory states as a number of bystanders increases, the likelihood of one person stepping into help decreases. So when people are in groups, responsibility becomes diffused. People begin to assume that someone else will make the call for help.

Would you speak up if you saw someone shoplifting in a crowded mall? Would you call authorities if you saw someone hit a parked car outside a crowded restaurant? Most people would argue yes, of course they would step in. Yet television shows and news stories tell different tales. For example, ABC's show "What Would You Do?" is a hidden-camera reality show that studies human nature in public scenarios. Some of the situations include a person stealing gas, a tutor hitting on a student, and a pregnant woman drinking alcohol. The number of bystanders who simply stay quiet in these situations is shocking. It's a great demonstration of the bystander effect, but what does this say about our society?

What possible explanations do we have for the bystander effect in the year 2011? Have we become so self-centered that we fail to notice our responsibility in group situations? Perhaps our dependence on technology is the culprit. We have evolved into a society focused on our emails, social media, and texting. We are so immersed in technology that we've become completely oblivious to the real world. Our society's apparent apathy for other humans might simply be a case of not paying attention. We have places to go, things to do, and Facebook statuses to update. How often have you walked past someone on the sidewalk with their head buried in this cell phone? How often have you been the one on the sidewalk with a phone attached to your ear? How many situations have we inadvertently ignored because we were too worried about ourselves? How many situations have we walked past thinking "someone else will take care of that"? It might be time for all of us to take a break from the land of technology and return to planet Earth.

Technology is an amazing thing. It's easy to get carried away in a sea of laptops, smart phones, and the ability to communicate without ever opening your mouth. At some point, we need to come back to reality and accept responsibility as individuals. The last thing our society needs is another Kitty Genovese story.

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photo by liminalmike

http://www.fighttimes.com/magazine/magazine.asp?article=800

Are there ways to increase your chances of receiving help from bystanders? This article seeks to shed some light on the phenomenon of Bystander Apathy, which is often overlooked in self defense, and give you a few possible ways and tips to help reduce the chance of a witness ignoring you when you need help. As many people have never even heard of Bystander Apathy/Effect, it is my wish to at least address and make you aware of this phenomenon. Many people have a false sense of security surrounding receiving help from strangers, often thinking they are safer in larger crowds. Being aware of the realities and employing appropriate psychological techniques could eliminate possible negative outcomes of the bystander effect.

When faced with a situation in which we need help, often receiving physical assistance from bystanders is not as assured as we often think it would be. Of course, most of us realize that being attacked at night time in a dark alley is a definite possibility, however, during the day light while surrounded by a crowd of people there is little chance of being attacked, and even if attacked surely you would receive help. Right?

Obviously most people would think someone would surely come to help. We live in a moral society afterall. The hard truth is that you could very well be left as alone and receive as little help in the middle of a crowd of people as you would at night time in an empty and dark alley way. This is reality.

We've all heard the old anecdote, "there is safety in numbers". According to well reviewed research that is simply not quite the case due to a rather common phenomenon called "Bystander Apathy".

Infact, according to research by Latane and Darley, in 1968, a person in trouble is much more likely to receive help from a bystander when there are only one or two bystanders than when there is a large crowd of people surrounding the victim.

This is not a simple phenomenon; the decision to help is a very complex one that involves many factors.

Let's delve into some of these factors in order to possibly gain knowledge of possible techniques to diminish the unwillingness of a bystander to help.

First, let's look at a particularly well known example of Bystander Apathy. The following is a well studied example of bystanders showing extreme apathy and not helping a person who clearly needed it. There are many examples, however the most well known case of Bystander Apathy, and the one which spurred many more studies and theories about helping in a crisis, is the Kitty Genovese murder. In 1964, a young woman named Kitty Genovese was stabbed to death in an attack that lasted 45 minutes in her apartment building in New York City. It was witnessed by 38 of her neighbors who did nothing to help in any way. None even called the police. (Davis and Palladino, 1997).

This incident more than any other prompted John Darley and Bibb Latane, two social psychologists, to research the phenomenon and discover the reasons for why this happens in our society. In 1970 they published their study on "bystander apathy" and discovered that the will to help a victim in need follows a model of intervention that involves five distinct stages. More to the point, any bystander has to answer five questions in order to help. If any one of these questions is not answered in the positive, a bystander will remain unwilling to help ( David A. Gershaw, Ph.D.)



triggers

A trauma trigger is an experience that triggers a traumatic memory in someone who has experienced trauma. A trigger is thus a troubling reminder of a traumatic event, although the trigger itself need not be frightening or traumatic.

Triggers can be quite diverse, appearing in the form of individual people, places, noises, images, smells, tastes, emotions, animals, films, scenes within films, dates of the year, tones of voice, body positions, bodily sensations, weather conditions, time factors, or combinations thereof. Triggers can be subtle and difficult to anticipate, and can sometimes exacerbate post-traumatic stress disorder, a condition in which trauma survivors cannot control the recurrence of emotional or physical symptoms, or of repressed memory. A trauma trigger may also be referred to as a trauma stimulus or a trauma stressor.

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Film trigger warnings

An article written by Victoria Brewster for http://www.thefword.org.uk

 

In January the Hollywood adaptation of Girl with the Dragon Tattoo was released in the cinema, and there was a lot of TV advertising. The trailers were pretty slick, so it took me a while before I got bored enough of them to read the small-print consumer warning at the bottom of the screen. I was very surprised to read it warned of scenes of "violence and strong sex". I had seen the Swedish adaptation already, and knew that it featured one of the most brutal rape scenes I've ever seen on film. When this part of the film comes on, I have to either leave the room or physically hide my face.

Part of the reason I am affected so strongly is because, like around a quarter of the female population I have been the victim of sexual assault. This has led to post-traumatic stress disorder, and I am sometimes 'triggered' by visual media. The term 'trigger' stems from cognitive behavioural therapy, and means something that can bring about a viscerally real memory of the traumatic event. Some websites (and most feminist websites) will post 'trigger warnings' on content that discusses common triggers, such as descriptions/depictions of sexual assault.

It was surprising, then, that a film which obviously would be covering a very graphic and violent rape scene did not properly warn against it. After all, "strong sex" could mean anything. It could just as easily mean there were very graphic but consensual sex scenes, as scenes of rape against both a man and a woman. If I were going to see the film for the first time without having any other experience of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, I wouldn't have expected to see rape. As it happens, I didn't go and see the film in the cinema, not wanting to risk a panic attack. Forewarned is forearmed.

But this vague wording of a consumer warning made me wonder just how often people (mostly women) who suffer PTSD are properly warned about films they're going to see, or DVDs they're going to buy. Every film released in the UK is subject to a rating by the British Board of Film Classification (BBFC) - this is the PG, 12A, 15 or 18 rating that we all know about. But the majority of films also have a brief description of what content in the film has brought about the board's decision. On a DVD, this appears in the little coloured square on the back of the cover. In a cinema release, it's a bit more hit and miss. Some trailers, like the one for The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, will have it in small print at the bottom of the screen, while others might have it on the cinema listing, or appear before the film begins. But the consumer ratings for all film releases, past and present, can be found at the BBFC website.

With the help of Twitter, my friends and family, and a few movie-geek message boards, I compiled a list of 61 films with various ratings that featured scenes of rape or sexual abuse. Most of these were 15 or 18 rated films, but there were five rated PG or 12/12A. What surprised me most was that, of these five low-rated films, none of them warned of any kind of sexual violence. There were warnings for sex scenes, violent activity, swearing - but nothing suggesting that these could be particularly harmful to RSA victims. Of the higher rated films, only 31% of the 15s and 35% of the 18s warned of sexual violence. None of the films' warnings used the word 'rape'.

It could be argued that the job of the BBFC is not to protect adults, but to advise parents so that children don't stumble onto something they're too young to handle. But the BBFC website says they consider "the possible effect not only on children but also on other vulnerable people". Besides which, although I don't have children, I would think that most parents would want to be forewarned if the film their child is about to watch features someone being raped. The BBFC prints consumer content warnings anyway. How much more ink is needed to write four letters: R A P E?

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this website lists quite a lot of potentially triggering movies:

http://secretsswollen.tripod.com/forum/triggers.html

below is a small list of movies / tv shows with potential triggers.

Mysterious Skin (contains male rape and themes of child abuse), American History X (male rape and attempted rape/ intimidation)

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (contains attempted rape in season 6),

South Park  and Family Guy (contain 'jokes' making light of rape/abuse throughout),

A Clockwork Orange (contains rape/ attempted rape/ intimidation) 

Creep (contains attempted rape and torture),

The Doors (contains domestic abuse/ violence),

Bully, Frenzy, Platoon, Extremities, Apocalypto, Blue Velvet, Straw Dogs, Deliverance, Flesh+Blood, Scum (1979), The Accused
Pariah (1998), Stir of Echoes, Shame (1987), Shame (1992)
Boys Don't Cry, Monster (2003), Hannie Caulder, Buster and Billie
Thelma & Louise, The Virgin Spring, Rosemary's Baby
The Joy Luck Club, Death Wish (1974), Murder One (1988)
When She Says No, Two Women (1960), She Said No (1990)
Sudden Impact (1983), Something Wild (1961), Macon County Jail,

The Rape of Richard Beck, Jackson County Jail (1976), Introducing Dorothy Dandridge,  Untamed Heart (attempted rape)
The Violation of Sarah McDavid, Our Guys: Outrage at Glen Ridge
Overkill: The Aileen Wuornos Story, West Side Story (attempted)
Sin & Redemption, Breaking Bad (marital), The Glass House aka Truman Capote's The Glass House, Things Behind the Sun (2001) (The IMDB reviews of this mention the power of the rape scenes, that they are truly horrific.) Rob Zombie's Unrated version of Halloween, The Crow, Deliverance, I Spit on Your Grave, Death Wish I, II and III, Bastards out of Carolina, The Accused, The Notorious Betty Page (implied), Cape Fear, Holocaust (implied), The Devil's Advocate (implied), Salo, Irreversible,  GI Jane,  The Last House on the Left, Audition, North Country, Casualties of War, Anatomy of a Murder, A Patch of Blue, J.D's Revenge, Soldier Blue, Something Wild, Sudden Impact, What's Love Got to do With it?, Black Snake Moan, The Hills Have Eyes, The Duchess, The General's Daughter, A Serbian Film, Lipstick, Blindness, Hounddog, The Walking Dead (TV Series, Freeze Me, Hounddog, Boys Don't Cry, Monster, The Evil Dead, Multiple Maniacs, American Me, Trust, Happiness, Mountain of the Cannibal God, The Human Centipede 2, The Witch Who Came From The Sea, Showgirls, The Big Racket, Portrait of a Serial Killer, Forced Entry, Compliance, Banana Cue, The Devil's Advocate (implied)

 If triggers in films are a problem for you, I also recommend finding a film you're thinking of watching on IMDb first, there is a section called 'parent's guide' for each movie with full details of potentially disturbing scenes.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0065421/parentalguide

another online list of movies with potential triggers:

http://www.pandys.org/escapinghades/triggeringmedia.html

they have also compiled a list of tv programs with the same:

http://www.pandys.org/escapinghades/triggeringmediat.html

and books:

http://www.pandys.org/escapinghades/triggeringmediab.html

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That's My Boy

informtion taken from http://annyjacoby.wordpress.com/2012/06/16/new-adam-sandler-movie-thats-my-boy-glorifies-outdated-views-on-healthy-sexuality/


Numerous media outlets are reporting that Adam Sandler’s new movie “That’s My Boy” makes light of statutory rape in its depiction of a thirteen-year old boy’s sexual relationship with his teacher at school. That relationship results in the teacher’s pregnancy, a jail sentence, and Sandler’s character being forced to raise the child himself. When the child turns eighteen, he leaves home and does not interact with his father again until the eve of his wedding, when the Sandler character shows up at his home in need of money.
Some will argue in defense of this movie by stating that the story ultimately focuses on the characters’ reconciliation and that since the movie is a comedy, advocates such as organizations like Prevent Child Abuse America, Darkness to Light and Stop It Now! are taking the story line too seriously. We would suggest that these arguments are specious at best. They do not excuse the movie’s outdated views on child sexuality, and the sexuality of boys specifically, much less the long term impact of sexual abuse on children. Nor do these arguments ameliorate the fact that the corporate culture of Columbia Pictures and Happy Madison Productions is one that embraces child rape as a means for making a profit.
“It goes without saying,” stated Jim Hmurovich, President & CEO, Prevent Child Abuse America, “that Adam Sandler and Columbia Pictures would never have made a similar movie about a thirteen-year old girl and a teacher of hers, so how is it that in 2012 they still find it acceptable to make such a movie about a character who is a boy? This is a movie about rape, plain and simple, and while we could have an endless dialogue about how is this is a comedy, or a story that highlights the resilience of children, I call upon the viewing public to express their strong disapproval. Along with my colleagues from Darkness to Light and Stop It Now! we have sent the producers of the film an offer to discuss how misguided this attempt at humor is, and what message can be salvaged from this screenplay. All of us regardless of what we do in our lives have a responsibility to the children and families in this country. I suggest we figure out together how they can fulfill that responsibility in a way that supports the healthy development of all children.”

another good article on this issue can be found here: http://goodmenproject.com/good-feed-blog/adam-sandler-and-rape-culture/

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photo from http://www.survivorsmanchester.org.uk



Male Rape and Sexual Assault


Within our society, men and boys can suffer appalling sexual assaults and humiliations, but rarely does a victim cry out for help. Such is his feeling of shame, he will often be as desperate to keep it a secret as his attacker is. Confusion, depression and a sense of inescapable isolation are common reactions. They can wreck a man's life. The effects of sexual abuse on men are in many ways similar to those on women, but the response of society is markedly different. Men are seen as strong protectors, capable of defending themselves and those that they care about. When rape occurs feelings of shame, guilt, bewilderment and disbelief often lead to a change of self-esteem. Frequently men feel unable to express their anger and rage at what has happened to them and turn it in on themselves. In a twist that doesn't occur in female rape, sometimes the perpetuator of male rape will arouse his victim sexually, leading him to ejaculation. This is a control move which leaves the victim totally confused as to his role in the rape - did he in fact contribute, by becoming aroused? It is important to bear in mind that co-operation does not mean consent. Sometimes co-operation with a rapist or abuser is essential to survive the situation. Many men unfortunately find it easier to blame themselves than accept that they were over-powered and raped, in spite of possibly being tricked or manipulated into trusting, or sometimes even feeling an attachment for, their attacker.

It is only by bringing these issues out into the open and discussing them, that we can hope to change society's attitudes so that male rape is seen as the same violent crime as female rape. Rape and Sexual Assault are not about sex or a sexual relationship. They are serious crimes about power, control, humiliation and domination.


Childhood Sexual Abuse


Being both mentally and physically strong is something that society seems to expect of males from a very early age. Some young men will feel that they should be able to physically protect themselves and, when they cannot, they find this hard to accept. Many boys, like all children, find it hard to ask for help when abuse is happening. As they grow up they find it even harder to ask for help. Many boys do not report acts of sexual violence because they see this as a sign of weakness. By accepting that the abuse was not your fault it can only help to shift the feelings of guilt and shame, putting them where they belong, on the perpetrator.



information taken from http://www.male-rape.org.uk/info.htm


some other useful websites for male victims of rape and abuse are:

http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk/malerape2.php

http://www.victimsupport.org.uk/Help%20for%20victims/Different%20types%20of%20crime/Rape%20sexual%20assault%20men

http://www.mankindcounselling.org.uk/

http://www.voicesandfaces.org/survivor_gabe.asp

healing

 

 

this information is taken from http://www.giftfromwithin.org/html/journey.html

 

 

The Truth About Rape

 

According to the Federal Bureau of Investigations Uniform Crime Report, Sexual Assault is the most under-reported crime in the United States. Survivors of sexual assault are often met with intrusive questions, accusations, and fear a losing battle of "he said - she said." Although women are the majority of the survivors, sexual assault does not discriminate. For many women, it has the single most significant influence on their life without them even knowing it.

The effects of rape reach far beyond the physical injuries incurred. What transpires is a journey where trust is lost and the bedrock of lives becomes quicksand. Rape survivors experience common symptoms of flashbacks, nightmares, anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. Lack of services and under reporting leave the survivor alone in a journey along with scores of others who also feel isolated. So close to each other, yet so far away

 

 

Rape Trauma Syndrome

 

Rape Trauma Syndrome (RTS) was identified by Ann Wolbert Burgess and Lynda Lytle Holmstrom in the mid-seventies after studying the typical patterns of rape survivors. RTS describes a process that rape survivors go through in response to the fear experienced during a sexual assault. Although each survivor has their own experience, there are common characteristics some survivors possess. These characteristics are the direct result of the profound fear inherent in sexual assault.

The response immediately after a rape varies with each individual. This immediate response is described as the Acute Phase. The Acute Phase can last anywhere from a few days to a few weeks after an assault. It is a response to a complete disruption of one's life and the horrific experience of being sexually assaulted. The Acute Phase produces as many responses as there are survivors. Some survivors may cry, others may laugh, and still others may be completely silent. As you saw with Ella, she went about her normal routine for the evening.

 

It is important to note that there is no "wrong" way to cope with the immediate after effects of sexual trauma. Each survivor is unique and will process the assault in different ways. The various responses to the initial assault fall into two categories; expressed and controlled. Survivors engaging in expressed responses are open with their emotions and are in an emotional state. Examples of expressed responses are crying, yelling, showing anger, or agitation. The second type of response is known as the controlled. Survivors engaging in this style of response contain their emotions and focus more on keeping their composure. These responses are a result of the survivor "regrouping" after the situation that has occurred. Again, neither response is superior to the other. They are both responses to trauma.

 

During the Acute Phase survivors may feel disbelief or in some way frozen. It has also been described as if survivors "left their body," forever being unable to reconnect with the woman or man who was raped. Survivors may feel humiliated, confused, dirty, ashamed, or in some way at fault for the assault; especially in the case where the assailant was an acquaintance. Physical concerns may arise during the acute phase as well. These concerns may be the direct result of the assault (i.e. bruising or soreness) or fear of the possible physical ramifications of the assault (i.e. pregnancy or STD's).

 

 

The Acute Phase can be described as the world turning upside down. Everything that was in place has fallen in disarray. The basic orientation to life has been lost by the survivor. This disturbance can result in nightmares, heightened anxiety, or a complete disconnection from ones emotions.
 

 

After the Acute Phase, comes the Reorganisation Phase where the survivor attempts to reorganise her life. This phase invites a myriad of emotions such as fear, anxiety, denial, and most of all the loss of security. The shattering of security as well as trust is inherent in sexual assault. This loss of the fundamental need for security wreaks havoc on the survivor's life. The feeling of being unsafe looms over the survivor causing a heightened state of anxiety, difficulty with intimate relationships, and hypervigilence such as constantly checking ones surroundings.

The loss of trust coupled with feelings of being unsafe chip away at the personal relationships surrounding the survivor. Relationships suffer as a result of the survivor's isolating from their support system either physically or emotionally. The survivor may feel a general disconnection from peers as a result of the perceived unique experience. The shattering of trust can cause intimate relationships to be diluted as survivors may have a heightened suspicion of other's motives and feelings.

 

 

During the Reorganization Phase, the survivor attempts to reorganize his or her life and create the world that she or he once knew. Despite best efforts though, this phase is often riddled with feelings of guilt and shame. The survivor's attempt to get back to his or her routine is often plagued with feelings of anxiety and fear. She may attempt to return to normal social functioning (i.e. go out to social engagements), yet may find herself unable to do so. His or her attempts to re-establish in relationships may be hindered by lack of trust.

Long term reactions to sexual assault may also include the inability to find peace within this world. Sexual assault can change the individual forever as well as the world as they know it. The end result is a constant state of turmoil. At times, the survivor may not even recognize what is happening within. Sexual assault causes the body to be an unfriendly environment leading the survivor to at times feel dirty and ashamed. These feelings cause the individual to disconnect from their body entirely. Without a connection to their body, the survivor is unable to listen to internal states which assist her in navigating through the world. This contributes to a feeling inherent in many survivors, the feeling of being "lost."

 

 

Sexual Assault and the Body

 

The words "the scene of the crime" speak volumes in criminal investigations and movies. In the case of sexual assault, despite where the event occurred, the scene of the crime is the body itself. The body then becomes less of a vessel for the spirit, and more of an enemy always reminding them of what they long to forget. Resolution of the sexual assault requires the body to be empowered. Forming a loving relationship between survivors and their bodies will enhance their ability to care for themselves as well as live with less anger and fear.

During a traumatic experience, the body morphs into a different creature, one who of which better equipped to handle the situation. An assault at this level is then captured by this "creature within" who holds onto it to protect the individual from having to deal with such an emotional upheaval. Although its intentions are noble, it can only hold on to so long. Eventually, the memories and feelings start leaking out, causing the body to remember what the mind has forgotten.

The results are body-based symptoms which may not be recognized by the survivor as having a root in the assault. Survivors may have increased somatic complaints long after the original assault. These complaints may come in the form of gastrointestinal problems, migraines, or chronic pain. Sexual problems may also occur such as pain during intercourse.

 

 

Intrusive Symptoms

 

As stated above, the disconnection from one's body causes symptoms to leak into the survivor's life without his or her consent. These are known as intrusive symptoms. They are appropriately named as they intrude upon one's life. One symptom known to many survivors is a "flashback." This is when the survivor flashes back in to a memory of the assault. Survivors may feel as if they are seeing it or feeling it all over again. Intense fear surrounds these flashbacks as the survivor is not able to predict or control when they will occur.

Ella suffered from a common symptom of sleep disturbance. Survivors may have trouble falling asleep due to their racing thoughts or inability to calm their body. Some may attempt to put off sleep, knowing that nightmares are most likely going to wake them up in the middle of the night. This lack of rest only serves to compound the symptoms during the day.

Survivors may also experience extreme emotions that may not match the situation at hand. For example, some survivors may have more of a "quick temper" after the assault. Many are prone to depression or heightened anxiety. What was a "normal" worry is now an obsession that renders them fearful or impulsive. Feelings are internal cues that tell information about the world and what we are experiencing. For the survivor of sexual assault, feelings are more "flood gates" that tend to open with the slightest provocation.

 

Arousal Symptoms

 

Sexual assault can rob a survivor of their safety. This feeling of not being safe lasts long after the assault. It's this lingering feeling that causes a survivor to have what is called arousal symptoms. A common arousal symptom is known as an exaggerated startle response. If you have ever seen a scary movie, you can relate to being "on the edge of your seat." This feeling may be entertaining for a short time for some (hence the majority of the movies are action packed), but to sustain this state is both exhausting and damaging to the survivor.

A common arousal symptom seen in rape survivors is hypervigilence. When individuals feel safe, they are able to attune to what they choose to focus on. In the past, however, dangerous things happened "out of nowhere." In order to protect the body, the individual is hypervigilent to his or her surroundings, always attuned to what is going on in the background. This hypervigilence may be exhausting to the survivor as well as those around her. He or she may be accused of having a lack of attention or focus.

 

Avoidance Traits

 

Sexual assault creates an internal environment so scary that survivors may avoid any reminders of the event. Avoidance symptoms are behaviorsof which a survivor engages in to avoid reminders of the event. When referencing "reminders," though, one needs to recognize all that was connected with the assault. To illustrate, if one was raped in a park, they may avoid large open spaces. They may be triggered also by trees, the sound of birds, or a swing set that was near during the assault. Perhaps the assailant was wearing a certain cologne; in this case one may avoid smells including lotions, department stores, or other places where their senses may get triggered.

 

Emotions that may have been present during or after the assault may be avoided as well. For instance, survivors may avoid feelings of sadness or fear as they connect them to the assault. They may see them as signs of weakness and may correlate it with being vulnerable. Many survivors will avoid putting themselves in any vulnerable place even if it is showing emotion or letting go of a secret. A vulnerable position may lead to physical and emotional pain. Survivors will go to great lengths to ensure that the situation does not get recreated. Hence, survivors may work on escaping or avoiding both physically and emotionally vulnerable situations at all cost.

 

Avoidance issues can cripple a survivor emotionally as they have taken themselves out of important facets of life. Survivors of gang rape or date rape may avoid gatherings or large crowds. Intimate friends and partners are now no longer trusted. The survivor becomes more and more isolated from their peers as well as their own emotional experiences. Ella found the peer interaction to be too overwhelming and chose to retreat. Prolonged avoidance of dealing with the trauma of rape can lead a survivor to "hide out," causing them to work long hours, and/or become obsessed with isolated behaviors such as eating or exercising.

 

As the survivor attempts to avoid the difficult feelings associated with rape and its aftermath, many increase their use of mood altering substances. They may use alcohol or drugs to blanket the feelings of anxiety or fear. Many find mood altering substances initially comforting as they produce a feeling of safety. Others find that the only way for them to fall asleep through external means such as a substance. The flashbacks are then contained with drugs or alcohol. The amount needed to numb the pain or contain the memories increases until they become addicted. Many identify this as a problem and seek to lessen their drug and alcohol use. However, the less they use, the more symptoms of the sexual assault may come up. In these instances, the need for treatment of substance abuse as well as the assault is needed concurrently.

 

Negative Cognitions Associated with Rape Trauma

 

Although some survivors are able to connect their present feelings and symptoms to the original trauma, many survivors use present day problems to explain unhappiness. For example, they may not identify the deep rooted trust issues of which they may struggle. Instead, they believe that their present relationships are "not working out." A good look at an individual's life will reveal the true beliefs they have about themselves and the world. When one doesn't feel worthy, it leads them to construe situations to confirm their unworthiness.

 

In life, there are certain "rules" we use in society to create a safe and predictable world. For instance, the fact that the sky is blue has become a "rule" in our head ever since we first learned our colors. We then use this fact as a reference point to determine whether or not something is amiss in our world. We have also learned that a gray sky typically produces rain. In this case, our world becomes predictable. If the sky is blue, there is little chance of rain. If the sky is gray, we need to prepare for rain.

 

Additional "rules" and guidelines lay within the human mind. These rules are called "cognitions" or "beliefs." They are beliefs about oneself which are perceived to be true based on one's experience. Some common beliefs are that people are good, the world is relatively safe, sex is pleasurable, and we are in control of our environment. A sexual assault can change these beliefs at the core of the human being. These beliefs infiltrate the survivor's life without the conscience being aware. The beliefs then morph into the feelings that people are bad, the world is not safe, sex is something that hurts, and the environment is out of control. These beliefs about oneself and the body then polarize the survivor from their body or their world. However, rarely are survivors able to articulate that they feel their body is an enemy. Instead, they present with eating disorders, substance abuse, or self injurious behaviors.