helping

A Man’s Guide to helping a Woman 

who has been raped 

"How this guide will help. 

 Rape is an act of violence which occurs when someone takes control over another by the use of physical threats or force, or by exploiting another person’s inability to give or withhold 

consent for sex. While it is true that both women and men can be raped, it is most commonly done to females by males. Sexual assault (and attempted rape) is the fastest-growing crime in 

America, yet receives little helpful attention by media, educators, or politicians. Since rapes are usually unreported, nobody knows exactly how many actually happen each year, but estimates are that more than a half-million occur annually, or about 78 per hour. 

 Even though there is little public attention to rape, there are many scientific studies about rape, rapists, and effective forms of helping survivors. As a result, public awareness is improving, rape myths are being challenged, and survivors are finding better help today than in years past. 

 As you might expect, most resources to help rape survivors come from crisis centers, police stations, and specialized counseling programs. However, rape does not only affect the woman, but also her family, friends, and other loved ones. Because of this, people in relationships with rape survivors are called secondary survivors; we are not the ones who were attacked, yet we are still hurt and affected. Secondary survivors sometimes need help dealing with the trauma too, and our role as the victim’s helpers makes it important that we prepare ourselves with education and counseling whenever needed. 

 I am a licensed clinical therapist, and in my practice I have worked with many men affected by the issue of the rape of women. This booklet can help explain some of the things rape 

survivors have described as the most effective ways men can help."

Full booklet: http://www.capefearpsych.org/documents/Rape-mensguide.pdf