suicide

"I have suffered from depression for decades. Sometimes life has been good, and the depression has been in the background, but sometimes it comes to the fore and takes control of how I see the world.

When it is in the background, little things can be bad, but not overwhelming, and I can see a point to trying, and a reason for doing things.

When it is in the foreground nothing is worthwhile. I see life as a huge onerous, endless task, with no prospect of improvement.

Simply getting up takes a mammoth effort, because it seems so pointless. My thought patterns are stuck in a deep, dark rut with no hope.

It is so hard to describe the despair of that state, where even showering, dressing and eating are things that overwhelm or daunt me, and I do not believe I deserve to feel any better.

I am a survivor of depression. It is still there, but I am learning to deal with it.

I have dragged myself out of that pit slowly, with the help of medications that meant I did not find those simple tasks a huge challenge, and allowed me the time to find new ways of thinking, through therapy.

Some people do not get through this. They are in a state where they cannot see that things will change, they cannot see that they can improve, so they act to end the pain.

I know this feeling very well.

For those who have friends or family with this disease, please realise that the feeling of despair is not their fault, and nor is it yours.

Many diseases take people to the brink of despair, where battling another day is a dreadful prospect. Depression is one of these, and while you may not see the symptoms and the agony, it is there.

For those who are in this place, hold on to the thought that things can change, that you may not be seeing things in a balanced way, and that you do deserve better.

Keep trying, and keep asking for help.

You may have not found the help you need yet, but it is there.

You do not have to face this alone."

Taken from: http://www.stuff.co.nz/stuff-nation/assignments/lets-talk-about-suicide/9413112/Hard-to-describe-the-despair

Suicide has been defined as a "permanent solution to a temporary problem." For the person caught in the black hole of depression, however, there is nothing temporary about the hell he or she is experiencing. The resulting sense of hopelessness is the major trigger for suicidal thoughts, feelings and attempts. This hopelessness includes:

no hope for the future

no hope that things will ever change

no hope that I will ever be well or stable

no hope that I will be able to meet my goals in life (or even have goals)

no hope that the pain will ever stop

no hope that I can do anything to change it

When the psyche is assailed by this level of despair, suicide feels like the only way out. If you are feeling suicidal, here are some thoughts that can help you to counter the suicidal urge:

1. Remember that you are under the influence of a "drug" called depression which is distorting your view of reality. As a result, your feelings of hopelessness do not accurately reflect your true potential for recovery.
2. Depression, like everything else in the physical world, is cyclic. In most cases, it comes and goes; it has a beginning and an end. A useful affirmation to repeat is, "Nothing stays the same forever. This, too, shall pass."
3. An overwhelming majority of people who have suffered from suicidal feelings have fully recovered. The odds that you will get better are in your favor.
4. If you have family and/or friends in your life, realize that they will be devastated by losing you. Their suffering will only add to the existing suffering in the world.
5. Use the techniques described in the depression survival plan in this book to increase your coping resources and to keep yourself safe.
6. Remember that feelings and actions are two different things. Just because you feel like killing yourself, it doesn't mean you have to act on it this minute. This is one time when procrastinating is a good idea.
7. Do not remain alone when you are feeling suicidal. If you are feeling overwhelmed, ask for help. Set up a suicide support system with people who can spot your mood swings even before you do, and will take action to keep you safe. Make a pact that you will contact them when you are feeling suicidal. If you don't have friends who can do this, try to locate a depression support group at a hospital or clinic.
8. Use your local crisis hotline as a resource. Their job is to support you through your struggle, one day at a time.
9. Regulate anything in your environment that may be used to harm you. Flush old medications down the toilet, keeping only small quantities of those you take regularly. Dispose of all firearms you have, or give them to a support person for safekeeping.

Finally, remember, people do get through this, even when they feel as bad as you do right now. Here is a passage from Kathy Cronkite's At the Edge of Darkness that was very helpful in restoring my hope.

Part of the anxiety and dread of depression is that "storm in the brain" that blocks out all possibility of sunlight. In the depths of despair that by definition murders faith, courage may have to suffice. Keep slogging. Even if you don't believe it at the moment, remind yourself of the existence of good. Reassure yourself: "Once I enjoyed 'X,' I will again." The disease may have turned off the spigot of love, but it will come back."

Taken from: http://www.healingfromdepression.com/suicidal.htm

"..how do we help suicidal people fight against the despair and hopelessness that make them want to reject life? We have to understand their pain and what ending their life means to them, in order to help. If we rush to tell them how wonderful life is when all they know is deep despair, we may add to their feeling that no one understands the depth of their pain. This is a risk that we don't want to take.

Most of us are afraid of opening up the topic of suicide with depressed people, because we think that if we entertain the topic we are giving them permission to take their life. We also don't want to shame and embarrass them. Even therapists often feel this, even though it's our job to bring up this difficult subject matter with our patients.

Whether you are a therapist, a friend, or a loved one of someone who may be contemplating suicide, we all have to appreciate the meaning of the suicidal act in order to understand it, so that we are not afraid to have such discussions. I open up this difficult subject matter with you today, so that you understand what suicide is really all about and how you may help a loved one who is contemplating suicide. Understanding is the best way to reach a suicidal person and help him or her to continue living.

What is Suicide?

An Attempt To Solve A Problem

Suicide is a senseless act to those who wish to live. But, death as an option to one's problems makes sense to the suicidal person. The thought of suicide occurs most often when a person feels they have run out of solutions to problems that seem inescapable, intolerably painful, and never-ending. It may be a physical or mental illness that deteriorates the body or mind, as in Lou Gehrig's disease or Bipolar disorder. Or, it may result from the death or suicide of a loved one. Perhaps, it's a downward spiral from money woes and a devastating change in lifestyle. For some, public disgrace or humiliation makes it intolerable to go on living; while, for others, the intolerable condition may result from the post-traumatic stress of military combat, homicide, rape, or imprisonment.

No matter the situation that brings a person to contemplate death, there's one thing that suicidal people share in common; they cannot love life, right now. They have experienced a basic and comprehensive breakdown in their values, way of living, self-esteem, and ability to make sense of life and to give it meaning that restores their hope and the will to live.

We are hard-wired to survive, to fight in times of stress and threat, so suicide feels so wrong to us. The suicidal person has fallen to the other side of this evolutionary fight for survival. They have chosen to flee, through death.

It doesn't matter how we'd respond, or how severe the circumstances seem to us, suicidal people cannot love life or find meaning in it, in their deteriorated mental state. Nonetheless, it's important for us to know that they do not really want to die; they just want a way out from their suffering. Suicide seems like the only way out.."

Taken from: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/get-hardy/201203/the-edge-suicide

"If you are reading this because you are having suicidal thoughts, try to ask someone for help. It may be difficult at this time, but it's important to know you are not beyond help and you are not alone.

Talking to someone can help you see beyond feelings of loneliness or despair and help you realise there are options.

There are people who want to talk to you and who want to help. Try talking to a family member or friend about how you are feeling.

There are several telephone helplines you can call at any time of the day or night. You can speak to someone who understands how you are feeling and can help you through the immediate crisis.

Helplines and support groups

• Samaritans (08457 90 90 90) operates a 24-hour service available every day of the year. If you prefer to write down how you are feeling, or if you are worried about being overheard on the phone, you can email Samaritans atjo@samaritans.org.
• Childline (0800 1111) runs a helpline for children and young people in the UK. Calls are free and the number will not show up on your phone bill.
• PAPYRUS (0800 068 41 41) is a voluntary organisation that supports teenagers and young adults who are feeling suicidal.
• Depression Alliance is a charity for people with depression. It does not have a helpline, but offers a wide range of useful resources and links to other relevant information.
• Students Against Depression is a website for students who are depressed, have a low mood or are having suicidal thoughts.
• Bullying UK is a website for both children and adults affected by bullying.

Help for young men

Men may be more likely to avoid or ignore problems and many are reluctant to talk about their feelings or seek help when they need it.

A support group called the Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) is an excellent resource for young men who are feeling unhappy. As well as the website, CALM also has a helpline (0800 58 58 58).

Talking to someone you trust

If you do not want to speak to someone on a helpline, you could talk to:

• a member of your family, a friend or someone you trust, such as a teacher
• your GP, a mental healthcare professional or another healthcare professional
• a minister, priest or other type of religious leader

Seeing your GP

It would also help to see your GP. They can advise you about appropriate treatment if they think you have a mental health condition, such as depression or anxiety.

Your GP may be able to help you with access to talking therapies. Talking therapies, such as counselling andcognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), are often used to help people who have suicidal thoughts and usually involve talking about your feelings with a professional.

Taken from: http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Suicide/Pages/Getting-help.aspx

More information can be found here:

http://prevent-suicide.org.uk/find_help.html

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/suicide_help.htm

http://www.papyrus-uk.org/